It's Okay to Feel Confused and Disconnected
Updated: Feb 8, 2021
I imagine that we have all heard the phrase "will it ever go back to normal?" too many times for comfort. Normality certainly seems a lifetime away thanks to our current circumstances. Too many days without our friends, family, hobbies and social lives have reduced most of us to unmotivated, groggy shells of a former selves. It comes as no surprise too.
Kasley Killam, journalist for Scientific American, states that: 'the coronavirus pandemic reminded us that human connection can spread illness. But human connection also promotes wellness'. There's a striking irony in the fact that we need to social distance and stay away from others to protect ourselves when social interaction has an incredibly positive effect on our mental and physical well-being. In fact, according to Killam, isolation and a general lack of social support are directly linked to greater vulnerability, depression and physical illnesses such as colds and heart disease. Maybe that's why we've been feeling a little under the weather.
Why It's Easy to Lose Hope
We may not realise the effects of it until we sit down and really think about it, but the constant stream of bad news will wear you out. We keep our eyes glued to the screen when the familiar theme of our preferred news channel comes on, and then we sit there in a thick, uncomfortable silence until someone can make a remark on how awful it is. We'll talk about it and try to shake off the uneasiness until the news comes back on again later. It's a viscous cycle.
The constant lockdowns and changing of restrictions has also meant that we've had a lot more time to ourselves, indoors, doing nothing. This is the perfect environment for overthinking to ensue. Before you know it you're worrying about the smallest of things and trying to ignore the paranoia that sits over your shoulders like a weighted blanket.
SAD: Seasonal Affective Disorder
According to research, 1 in 3 people suffer from SAD — Seasonal Effective Disorder. SAD is a form of depression derived from seasonal changes, which means that you can feel fine for most of the summer but feel very low for most of the winter.
The UK's third national lockdown was imposed last month, right in the middle of winter. The days are shorter and colder, and there isn't as much as light. We need natural sunlight for vitamin D and a healthy immune system, and it also helps our mental health. Exposure to sunlight triggers the release of serotonin — a neurotransmitter that produces the feeling of happiness. It also triggers the release melatonin, which aids restful sleep.
Our bodies are reacting very naturally to a lack of sunlight and social interaction, and it's about time that we recognise the validity of these reactions.
The 'Self-Made Billionaire' Mindset
Despite the fact that science shows that a lack of social interaction and sunlight negatively effects both our physical and mental health, there are still those who will have to overachieve and bring down others with them. The "motivational" phrase 'if you don't come out of this with a new skill, you never lacked time, you lacked discipline' has been circling around social media ever since the first lockdown, and it's caused quite the uproar.
On one hand, you have those agreeing and believing that you need to be on the grind 24/7 and treating "laziness" (taking time off in order to create an ideal balance of work and free time) as an unnecessary excuse preventing you from reaching your goals. Then you have the people that applaud people for achieving goals that mean a lot to them, even if they don't mean much to anyone else. This include just getting out of bed or finding the strength to shower in a depressive period.
It is important to challenge yourself to do well and achieve your goals even in a lockdown, but it's also important to understand that feeling unmotivated and under the weather at times is completely normal due to the current state of affairs.
You're Not Alone
You might find that you're feeling as if you're the only one struggling with things whilst the world is a mess. You could also be feeling as if your problems don't matter and that you're afraid to speak up because a lot of people will have it worse than you. Neither of these feelings are healthy but they can be adjusted with a change of mindset.
Feeling as if your problems aren't valid isn't a unique issue, but this makes it a more commonly understood problem. You might find people telling you to just "grow up" or "move on" but this is not something you have to listen to. Major spoiler alert: it's okay to feel sad and it's okay to take time to process that. Bottling up emotions is the equivalent of putting a lid on a boiling pot: the contents have to come out one way or another, often with disastrous consequences.
You're definitely not the only one struggling either. It's not a hush hush topic and it is perfectly okay to speak up about what is upsetting you. Try reaching out to friends and family — they are most likely in a similar situation to you.
These exceptional times that we are living through bring a multitude of challenges and hardships with them. We are all struggling in our own ways but it is important to always remember that our feelings are valid and that we shouldn't criticize ourselves for not performing as well as we normally do with the absence of a global pandemic.
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